Mothers of Autistic children are warriors.
We fight every single day behind the scenes with a dozen medical professionals, repeat ourselves a million times in the school office, spend hours on the phone chasing up appointments and referrals, educate family members and friends about Autism as well as researching for yourself, try to cater not only for your childs Autism but also their extra conditions that stem off from their Autism, making sure that siblings are not being left out and neglected without realising, staying strong for everyone in the household while neglecting our own feelings, juggling work or study in this whirlwind process and not to mention trying to keep the volcano dormant in every day life.
There seems to be no time to truly empty our thoughts, feelings and emotions and sometimes there really is no one there to empty them too when we really need too.
An Autism Mothers strength is all she sometimes has. Days where you would never guess she has been on her knees crying, behind closed doors, but keeps that smile and positive energy in public.
Days where she is so close to giving up, days where she feels she isn’t good enough and days where you resent everything & everyone.
These days are real and often. An Autism Mothers life and emotions fluctuate daily. The day before could be the most amazing, but today is the worst. We never know or are truly prepared for what awaits us the next day.
It really is an emotional rollercoaster and one that is hard to put into words. Even trying to, doesn’t do our experience or feelings justice.
We really are trying to be the best we can be for our family. Sometimes that means our feelings take a back seat while we protect and look after our children and partners. But trust me, Autism Mothers are crumbling inside too. We may seem like we have hard exteriors but thats what we do as Warriors, we don’t show our vulnerability often.
We keep fighting the fight and keep loving our children.
Tomorrow is a new day.